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The Bizpat; Not a traveler. Not an expat. But never at home.

By John Studd

John Studd is a Canadian businessman and journalist travelling throughout the world, writing down his experiences in corporate housing and extended stays and publishing it here at SuiteNet exclusively for you, our visitors.

Sex, Drugs, and the Red Light Crawl

While most of the world is familiar with such red light hotspots as the infamous district in Amsterdam or the seedy Patpong neighborhood of Bangkok, it’s sometimes hard to find the best of these locations in other cities around the globe. And really, sometimes there’s just no better way for a bizpat to spend a night in a foreign land than spotting the German tourist groping the lines of sexual perversity, or simply watching the British lads in their perpetual stag groups hollering for another look at a buxom double entendre.

Truth be told, sometimes it’s even fun to take part in a little debauchery yourself.

But where to go? Certainly if you don’t want to be gypped out of your Euro dollars, or mugged out of your mobile phone or Blackberry unit. First thing to do is find some upscale establishment that caters to this kind of man on a daily basis. In my experience, this includes casinos, Irish bars, and not-so-trendy jazz clubs. The beauty of this last type of establishment is that you are more likely to meet many of the regulars standing out front somewhere before the show, or between sets, enjoying a communal drag off a self-rolled cigarette. Not only can they point you in the right direction, but they might also give you something to help you on your journey. The jazz won’t hurt you either.

Be sure to ask a lot of questions. Locals and expats are rarely shy when it comes to dispensing this kind of sensitive information. Ask where the best looking women are. Ask what the going rate is around town. Ask the price of a simple beer at these clubs (they can be astoundingly expensive at times, more than at your average airport! But it will give you a sense of the relative backroom prices). But avoid the street hustlers. It’s a hell of a lot more fun to go to a strip club or a designated night club, anyway.

Still, if you find yourself transfixed by a lovely little gypsy girl coaxing you into the alleys during a late night stroll home, remember to bring the contents of your pants pockets up into your coat pockets before she even starts going down.

Almost every city in Europe has a favorite little neighborhood for a little debauchery on a lonely night, its own red light district. Just make sure you find the one that’s safe, dependable, and frequented by the people who live in town. Don’t be shy, or feel you have to talk around the subject – knowing where the ladies are is typically something of a matter of pride, especially among expats. You might even get a few of the boys to join you, since slipping into the underbelly of a city can be an exhilarating experience, even if you are just there to have an amusing look around.

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