The Bizpat Part 4: Yes, but what about my toiletries?
By John Studd
It's the kind of day you dread when you're a bizpat. Osama and his posse of cellular misfits had once again threatened the imperial donkeys of commercial air travel, and the rest of us were left stranded in non-descript queues contemplating the effectiveness of bombing a mobile peanut stand into submission.
Hanging around the bored confusion of
Heathrow Airport on August 10, conversations swirled around the war in Iraq, U.S. foreign policy, flight cancellations and updates, and of course the great 'what ifs' of such situations. I met a man who had been caught in transit when the announcement was made that the terror alert had risen to its highest level and the rumors had begun circulating of a plot to blow up a number of airplanes in mid-flight. His story struck a nerve.
As he spoke to me about his predicament, we were overheard by a reporter for the BBC World Service, who asked if it would be possible to get his story on tape. With nothing more exciting to do in what is essentially the atrium of a large shopping mall, he agreed to be interviewed.
"Well, I arrived at
Heathrow this morning from the
New York," he said, "And I still have to catch a flight on to
Budapest. They tell me that my luggage is being kept for security reasons, so I cannot access it. And I do not know if I'll be able to get out of
London today. They will not let me have my luggage, and I have everything in there, including all my toiletries."
"Yes," I thought, "I know exactly how you feel." Nothing can irritate a traveler more than being parted from his or her toiletries. But in a world teetering on the edge of all out war, and items such as cross-country skis no longer considered 'carry on' luggage by the powers that be, what can one do to ensure a good freshening up upon arriving at your destination, short of concealing an extra toothbrush up your bum?
Well, the answer is 'keep it simple - and supplemental'. There is no reason to need access, on any given day, to every bottle and container of ointment and topical cream in your arsenal. A simple, plastic traveling toothbrush with one shot of toothpaste built right in is readily available at most stores selling travel accessories. This can usually be placed in the inside pocket of your blazer without a problem. Also, start collecting small sample packets of creams, lotions, and after-shave balms, most of which can be concealed in that small pocket on the right hand side of a pair of jeans. If you are partial to a specific brand, squeeze a bit into those small zip-lock baggies that before now seemed to be useless to anyone who wasn't a drug aficionado.
Just avoid carrying floss - it might be construed as a weapon. Though I agree with you that the war on plaque should not be regarded as our biggest concern.
The best, of course, is if you have somewhere in each town you do business in to store an alternative set of toiletries, such as a friend's house, an office, or a long-term corporate flat. But whatever you do, stay clean, groomed and feeling fresh - or we might as well throw up our hands and concede that Osama has already won.
SuiteNet presents a series of articles by John Studd The Bizpat - Not a traveler. Not an expat. But never at home. John Studd is a Canadian businessman and journalist travelling throughout the world, writing down his experiences in corporate housing and extended stays and publishing it here at SuiteNet exclusively for you, our visitors.